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]| Church of Goodness
]| G-DIR EMPLOYEE USER ID # 95 38 20 52 :
]| Occupation: Religious Services for Lunar Citizens
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My cottage friend, La Macabre, swallowed the Questionable User whole with a mighty snap of electrical cables. Ah the passions of youth. I shuddered briefly, wishing him a painless digestion. Personally, I would have settled at a simple skewering, but the kid loves his Lunar-Tube fans and wants to give em a Good show on CCN.
Now, where was that second illegal that the Lunar Overmind spoke of? I searched with all of my sensors for them, but they were nowhere to be found.
My opulent doors suddenly bulged outwards on their own accord. I was being UnGoodly violated! I directed full power to my outside sensors to discover the culprit, but they only showed corrupt, pixelated noise.
“HALT! WHO ENTERS MY DOMAIN OF GOODNESS!” I shouted. “REVEAL THYSELF!”
Getting orally infected by infinite nothingness was not part of the Deal I made with the Lunar Overmind. From the information given, I expected this to be a simple “stomp a duplicate” mission.
“SYSTEM WIZARD EXTRAORDINAIRE AT YOUR SERVICES!”
The System Wizard bowed, suddenly emerging from a shroud of pixelation.
“YOU...”
I proclaimed.
“...WELCOME TO THE CHURCH OF GOODNESS, DIRECTOR [ _NULL ERROR_ ] !
HERE YOU MAY CONVERSE WITH YOUR PREFERENTIAL DEITY, PURCHASE FORGETFULNESS OF YOUR SINS OR EVEN BUY A NEW PERSONAL HEAVEN!”
My auto-greeting kicked in.
My "Deity-of-Choice" Avatar projection went wild because I could not get a reading on The Wizard’s beliefs.
G-damned adblock App! Like a data invisibility cloak The Wizard’s Nullification Shroud only showed me what its User wanted me to know. I processed what limited info I had:
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Zee/Zeer/Zeers/Zeerself
Captain/System Wizard/Governor of Antarctica/Emissary of Humanity
…indulges in tea parties
…likes Kittens and Snippies
…enjoys walks to the End of the Universe
...infinite credits.
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“ME!” The Wizard pointed at zeerself, having climbed atop the Wish-purchasing platform.
I was stuck on the Infinite Credits line. I read the line over and over.
The Ultimate Consumer? The Legendary Goodly User with infinite purchasing power?!
Zee Existed?! Impossible! Improbable! The Consumer System was designed to take Credits away from Users in exchange for powerful products, fantastic feels, and exciting experiences.
“YOUR CREDIT OF GOODNESS… UM… IT SEEMS… UNUSUALLY HIGH.” I stated, twitching with excitement.
Here, in my sanctum, was the opportunity of a lifetime!
“INDEED!” Zee replied cheerfully, admiring my plush Goodly interiors.
“HOW HAVE YOU COME BY THIS MARVELOUS CREDIT SCORE?”
I inquired.
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