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Comments #9633395:


Esn024

0
65 12 5, 3:37pm

Hmm, the art in this entry has been substantially changed from the previous version: http://imgur.com/a/WSND5

Is this your way of making the story "more linear", as you mentioned in a recent comment? http://romanticallyapocalyptic.com/comments/hash/9632247

I do like some of the new touches, like Captain's "Tis But a Tiny Spill", but at the same time I somewhat prefer the previous version's more dreamlike, fragmentary and hazy nature, which makes it more horrifying in its own way. Like someone remembering glimpses of something horrible long after the fact, rather than a real-time look at the event (and it was still clear at least to me what had happened, even though the events were presented out of order).

I'm fine with this version too, but I'm glad I saved the previous one to my hard drive. It reads more like a poem, whereas this one reads more like a prose story.

Also, what happened to the line about neurotoxins? Did your conception of the story change somewhat in between (Annie no longer being necessarily evil), and is that why you removed it?





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