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TALKING INANIMATE OBJECTS



BWAH?


Talking inanimate objects and bugs?
What the hell is going on?

Did pilot land on me too hard?

But then again, there was that snowflake that yelled at me about "EVAPORATING ALL ORGANICS", before captain poured tea on my face.

A pattern of audio and visual hallucinations?
OH NO.

This must be how it happens... I've finally succumbed to radiation poisoning and gone insane, just like the rest of them.

I definitely thought about killing Captain, especially after several pranks that were pulled on me like that time when I woke up with a bucket super-glued to my head and declared "iron man".
Or that time when Captain made a soup out of my gas mask filters because the broth needed the "Smooth flavour of Snippy" and salt wasn't available... so I had to roam the decaying shopping malls for a new pair.
Or that time when Captain pushed me into a watery abyss inside a wooden barrel to celebrate "Niagara falls day".

Have my thoughts become so compounded as to finally cause schizophrenia?
...Am I a stone throw away from becoming like Pilot, talking to pet rocks and building the Bastion of Captania out of rotting shoeboxes?

And if I were to kill Captain who would I have left?

I must have been talking out loud like those crazy hobos that lived outside the protectorate dome that communicated with radioactive rain clouds via conversations of interpretive dance, until they were consumed by a family of wild mutants.

Did I say out loud about killing Captain or was it just a non-existent voice in my head?

Great, I think Pilot took my insanity seriously and is now off to warn Captain about my infinite treachery.


by , 11th June 2012


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