54 - Romantically Apocalyptic

THINGS IN CAPTANIA ARE MERRY, BUT CAPTANIA BORDERS OTHER LANDS SUCH AS LAND NUMBER 441 OR LAND NUMBER 8008 IN MOST UNEXPECTED OF PLACES.
WHILE PURCHASING ITEMS OF VALUE FROM SHOPS OF CAPTANIA SOMETIMES THE ITEM RACK IS LOCATED IN ANOTHER LANDS JURISDICTION AND AS SUCH IT MIGHT CONTAIN STRANGENESS LIKE THE ONE EXPRESSED BY THE CHOCOLATE SPOODERS.

I FIND BLAME THE SPOODER LAND-MOTHER FOR SUCH FOREIGN EXPORTS. THE SPOODER LAND-MOTHER LIKES TO IMPORT SPOODERYNESS INTO EVERYTHING, BE IT CANDY, SHOES, TABLES, BUSES, PINEAPPLES OR EVEN PEOPLES. THE SPOODER LAND-MOTHER IS VERY PROACTIVE IN SUCH SELF MARKETINGS.

FOR EXAMPLE, IF A GOODLY THING WITHOUT LEGGOIDS DESIRES TO TRANSVERSE IT USUALLY PURCHASES ITSELF SPOODERY LEGS FROM HER. AFTER ALL, EVERYTHING LIKES TO SEE THE WORLD AND NOT JUST SIT AROUND BEING BORED. THE TOURISM INDUSTRY BOOMS IN CAPTANIA! EVERYDAY I ENCOUNTER NEW, UNEXPECTED THINGOIDS THAT COME HERE FROM OTHER LANDS ON VACATION.

I FEAR THAT SOMEDAY THE SPOODERYNESS WILL ATTACH SPOODER LEGS TO ME WHILE I SLEEPS AND THAT WOULD BE EXTRA INCONVENIENT FOR I CAN BARELY MANAGE ME 4 APPENDAGES AND 20 DIGITS AT THE BEST OF TIMES.
FOR EXAMPLES - ME LITTLEST LEFT FINGER ALWAYS IS OFTEN TRYING TO LEAVE. I SUSPECT THAT HE HAS ALREADY PURCHASED SPOODERYNESS WHAT WITH IT ALWAYS WIGGLING EXTRA LIMBS WITHIN ITSELF. ONLY THE FACT THAT ME GLOVE IS EXTRA TIGHT KEEPS IT IN PLACE!

I HID MYSELF IN THE SAFETY HUT TEA PARTY TO HAVE A RELAXING TEA WITH MR KITTHAWK, YET THE STRESS OF THE CHOCOSPOODERS STILL HAUNTS ME HEART MUSCLE. I BIGG SIPPE FROM ME CUP AND ALL MY TROUBLES ARE WASHED AWAY, AND I FEEL LIKE THE QUITELY GENTLEMAN.

THE TEA HUT IS DECORATED WITH CHALKY ARTS THAT DEPICT THE STRUGGLES OF THE SNAIL-LAND WITH THE FLY-LAND, TO WHICH I WAS WITNESS LAST WEEK. THERE IS OFTEN WAR BETWEEN VARIOUS LANDS AROUND US, EXPRESSED IN VARIETY OF DEEPENING STRANGENESS. CAPTANIA KEEPS THE PEACE LIKE SWISS-LAND.

MY FAVORITE KIND OF TEA YOU ASK? DARJEELING. IT SOUNDS LIKE A FUN WORD CAPTAIN WOULD SAY, AND ALSO LIKE THE POLAR OPPOSITE OF A SNIPPY. I WILL ELABORATE THUSLY: DARJEELING: GOOD TO SAY, FUN, TASTES NICE, DOESN'T SCREAM WHEN STABBED WITH A POINTY ITEMOID. SNIPPY: BBAAAAAAD TO SAY, TASTES BAD, UNFUN, SCREAMS SHARPLY WHEN STABBED.

UPON HEARING THAT MISTER KITTYHAWK HAD BETRAYED ME BY INVITING UNEXPECTED GUESTS INTO MY SAFETY HUT TEA PARTY, I WAS INCREDULOUSLY FLUBBERED. CAPTAIN HAS ALWAYS WARNED ME CAREFULLY "NOT" TO TOUCH UNEXPECTED GUESTS, A GOAL WHICH I HAVE LONG STRIVED FOR, AND THEN KITTYHAWK GOES AGAINST SUCH A LONG-STANDING PRINCIPLE TO INVITE THIS UNEXPECTED FLESH-POPPET INTO MY DOMAIN.

AS I DANGLED FROM THE FLESH POPPETS STRINGS, I PONDERED...
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, SNIPPY IS LIKE A SPIDER. THEY HAVE MANY LETTERS IN COMMON, BAD SIGN ALREADY, AND THEN THEY SCURRY BOTH OF THEM, DOUBTING AND SCHEMING AND JOB-HOGGING. IT FILLS MY TASTE BUDS WITH A BITTER NASTIE. THE KIND ONLY WOSHED AWAY WITH... TEA!
BUT ALAS, THE FLESH-LIMB DRAGS ME AWAY FROM SUCH.

OH WHAT I WOULD GIVE TO NOT BE WRAPPED IN THIS LIMBS UNSLIGHTLY GRASP, INSTEAD HUNTING THE SNIPPY IN MANY A FUN AND ENTERTAINING PARRY.

AT LEAST I HAVE ME FLYIN’ MASHEEN [THAT I BOUGHT IN A MALL] IN ME POCKET. PERHAPS I COULD USE IT TO ESCAPE THIS UNFORTUNATE SITUATION.

ENTRY ___54

Credits

View all 196 comments