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3b romanticallyapocalyptic.com

ENTRY ___3b






To:

EMISSARY OF HUMANITY
TWELFTH AND A HALF STREET,
APARTMENT SEVENTY BEE
MANCHESTER,
PLANET MERCURY

FroM:

THE DESK OF PILOT
GIANT PIPE TUNNEL,
WASTELAND
PLANET EARTH

DEAR PRINCESS CAPTAIN,

WHY DO WE NEED THIS SNIPPY CHARACTER?
I FIND HIM RATHER SHADY, BLAND, OPAQUE, AND LACKING COLORS.
HIS INSOLENT PRESENCE GNAWS AT MY FEELINGS LIKE THAT BOTHERSOME MOTH THAT KEEPS EATING MY JACKET AT NIGHT FROM THE INSIDE OUT.



AND, JUST LIKE THE MOTH, IT DOES NOT LEAVES IF ASKED POLITELY. FURTHERMORES, POKING IT WITH A POINTY DEVICE OF VARIOUS EXTREMETY AND BASHING IT WITH AN OBJECT OF VARIABLE WEIGHT DOES NOTHING BUT ANGER IT.

IT WAS EVER SO FUN WHEN IT WAS JUST THE TWO OF US, RIDING OUR QUAD BIKE, BASKING IN LOVELY SUNSHINE, BAKING PANCAKES, FLYING COWS, BLOWING UP THE EVIL-DOERS, AND SAVING THE WORLD.



BUT NOOO... HE JUST HAD TO JOIN US AND RUIN OUR PERFECTLY RELEVANT FUN-TIMES. NOW OUR DUO IS SOME KIND OF TWISTED TRIO.

EVER SINCE HE'S COME INTO OUR LIVES, DISRUPTING OUR HARMONY, THINGS HAVE BECOME LOPSIDED. ALL THE MISSIONS THAT SHOULD RIGHTFULLY HAVE BEEN MINE HAVE BEEN GIVEN OUT TO THIS BLACK AND WHITE COMB-FLAKE. I'VE COUNTED! EXACTLY 34.57% OF OBJECTIVES THAT I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF CARRYING OUT, HAVE BEEN HIJACKED BY HIM!

AND DO YOU THINK HE EVER FULFILLS THEM PROPERLY?
NO HE DOESN'T!
HE IS AS USELESS AS A BUCKET OF LARD!



AS SOON AS I DID LAY MY LEFT EYE ON HIM, MY RIGHT EYE DID TELL ME THAT HE MUST BE "PUT TO SLEEP". MY RIGHT EYE ISN'T ALWAYS RIGHT, THOUGH, SO I WILL RESIST THE IMPULSE TO CRUMPLE HIM LIKE A WATERMELON... AS YOUR EXCELLENCE DID CHOOSE HIM OUT OF ALL THE OTHER POINTLESS ROCKS IN THE DESERT TO BE THY NEW "PET PROJECT". WITH EACH BLINK UPON HIS SLOTHY FACE, I MUST SLAP MY RIGHT ARM DOWN, FOR IT RISES TO STRANGLE HIM GOOD... FOR GOOD REASONS.

LIKE DO WE R44ALLY NEED ANOTHER MINION?
AM I NOT EN1OGH?
CAN'T WE JUST GET RID OF HIS PERSON?
THERE ARE SO MANY FRIENDLY CHAPS IN THE CITY THAT HE COULD STAY WITH THAT WOULDN'T MIND HIS BOTHERSOME PRESENCE, AS THEY ARE BEING DEAD AND ALL.

...AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT? HE DOESN'T EVEN BELIEVE IN YOU! NOT ONE BIT. EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE RESCUED HIM FROM A FROSTY DEMISE HE STILL THINKS OF YOU AS SOME SORT OF "REGULAR". HE KNOWS NOT THAT YOU ARE THE RIGHTFUL INHERITOR OF THE UNIVERSE AND ALL ITS CONTENTS. HE DARES TO DISGRACE MY LIEGE WITH PESKY WORDS OF DISBELIEF.

OH BUT WORRY NAUGHT, FOR I SHALL "CORRECT HIM". OR AT LEAST TRY. I HAVE A RIGHTEOUS PLAN IN MY MIND-ROOM 4 DEALING WITH THIS INTERL0PER AND HIJACKER OF FEELINGS!

EVEN AS I WRITE THIS LETTER, INSIDE A GIANT PIPE, BY GLOW OF FIRELIGHT, HE DIGS INTO MY SOUL WITH HIS BORING EYES, SOILING MY PINE THOUGHTS WITH HIS MENACING, MECHANIZED EYEBROWS THAT WIGGLE OF THEIR OWN ACCORD.

I FEAR THAT MY FAVORITE PINK CRAYON IS RUNNING OUT, SO I MUST END THIS LETTER HERE.

SINCERELY,
MOST CORDIALLY,
WITH INFINITE RESPECTS,
YOUR MOST OBEDIENT SERVANT,

PiLoT



Credits


Hugs and love to all our DELICIOUS PATRONS

Art Director:

Vitaly S Alexius

Illustrator:

Iidanmrak

Voice of Pilot:

Vocal Philosopher

Journal Sketch:

AnuPatten

Extras:
  • High Res

  • 14th August 2009

    Tagged in Pilot Snippy Captain
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    29 Comments:
     
    sort by: direction:
    Griff

    15 M
    1 year ago #9431400        
    2

    0

     

    So are these real people, hallucinations, or robots, aliens?
    More questions keep popping up the farther I read.



    Evo

    120 O
    3 years ago #9153469        
    1

    0

     

    Waaait a minute.

    Conspiracy time.

    In Issue 160, the Dex-M (AKA Pilot) finds a car registered as belonging to a Don Incognito of Manchester, Planet Mercury.

    Now Pilot refers to Captain as that.

    Is Captain an Unscannable User?!



    2 months ago #9605968        
    0

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    Oh my god this is amazing!



    2 months ago #9604943        
    0

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    I wish their would have been voices from other genders too.



    Dilma

    67 F
    5 months ago #9567462        
    0

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    @Bethos @Finn123
    Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy@Bethos @Finn123
    Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy@Bethos @Finn123
    Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy@Bethos @Finn123
    Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy@Bethos @Finn123
    Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy@Bethos @Finn123
    Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy@Bethos @Finn123
    Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy@Bethos @Finn123
    Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy@Bethos @Finn123
    Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy@Bethos @Finn123
    Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy
    Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy</b> Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy</b> Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy Happy Birthday Mikko Happy Happy</b></b>



    1 year ago #9456190        
    0

    0

     

    deep-demonic voice makes me laugh :D



    alexius

    28 M
    Admin Moderator
    1 year ago #9454082        
    0

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    @Xenoxium

    is accidental, because voice actors sometimes use old version of script, or new version of the journal from the novel we're writing.



    1 year ago #9441797        
    0

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    this is great...but i notice that the voice actors change it up. its cool or whatever just wanted to know if that was intentional?



    Znipster

    20 O
    Moderator
    1 year ago #9431983        
    0

    0

     

    His voice is really great even though it is very different from how I imagined it. Who is the voice actor?

    show replies





    Yubbi

    19 F
    2 years ago #9353328        
    0

    0

     

    Aaahhhhh, but mein dearest Pilot! Buckets of lard are all sorts of vus3ful, especially in such troubling times as now, need I remind you that we are at war with EVERY traffic light in existence? Shnippeys lard can be used to blind them, not to mention make an excellent cooking ingradients



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