the cottage bellowed down at me. It reminded me of a Salvador Dali painting, standing absurdly tall on spindly legs made out of twisted, rusty sewer pipes. Out of all the things to discover inside the moon, I never expected being accosted by a two-and-a-half storey, lime-coloured, walking cottage.
What did it want with me? I remembered all the “crime pins” tagging me as a Questionable, Untrustworthy User. They caused everything in ANNET’s sentient world to hate me. Captain had explained the pins to me; maybe zee knew how to get out of this.
“What do we do?”
I asked. My voice cracked as the house raised one of its long, pointy legs over me.
“HOWSABOOOT SOME REFRESHMENTS FROM ZEE HOSPITABLE MOBILE ABODE THERE?”
Captain suggested, pointing at the cottage.
Where’s your mug? I wondered, but only briefly, because the pointy leg suddenly slammed down.
I ducked to the side and the metal leg whistled by my ear, stabbing deep into the ground.
I tried to explain the danger to Captain, but all I managed to yelp through the haze of terror was
“STABBING HOUSE!”
Captain didn’t seem bothered by my panicked announcement.
“ZEE FRIDGERATOR IS IN THE KITCHEN, SNIPSTERS. START BY LOOKING THERE.”
Zee clapped me on the back, shoving me towards the cottage.
“I thought we were friends!”
I protested, but Captain didn’t respond.
“TOO FAST TO STAB, EH?”
the cottage said ominously. Long power cables began to spill from its windows, writhing like tentacles.
“LET’S SEE YOU ESCAPE THESE!”
I started to run, but the cables wrapped tight around my body
and dragged me in through the window kicking and screaming..
I just read this entire, incredible, awe-inspiring story from beginning to this in under 48 hours, only looking after my body's most basic needs and completely shirking my responsibilities because I CAN'T PUT THIS DOWN. This story has entirely consumed me. Words cannot express my gratitude and amazement. I have joined the Church of Captain and will prosthelytize with gusto!
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wheeeereeeee iiiiis the newwwww serirersrs?????@