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249 romanticallyapocalyptic.com

ENTRY ___249




“How can you know where we are?” I asked, mostly out of protest against Captain’s grating confidence. I knew already that I wasn’t going to get a straight answer. However... I had just fallen through a floating portal into some kind of run-down teleportation nexus. Would I even know what a straight answer looked like anymore?



“I’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE,” Captain replied with casual conviction, and started walking again. I rubbed my temples as I followed. What had I been expecting? Captain always had an answer, however absurd it might seem. “I’VE BEEN EVERYWHERE, MISTER SNIPPY. EVERYWHERE AND NOWHERE... AT THE SAME TIME.”

“Really. How’s that work?”

“IT IS QUITE SIMPLE. WHEN A GATE ASKS YOU FOR YOUR DESTINATION, YOU HOLD DOWN SHIFT, PRESS CONTROL-A AND RIGHT CLICK.” Captain said, nodding authoritatively as if that explained everything.

“So, which gate did we just come from?” I asked to try and get my bearings, so much as that was possible in this situation.

“I TIED A RIBBON TO IT!” Sure enough, as we approached the nearest gate, I saw a fluttering ribbon. I was surprised by Captain’s pragmatism, until I looked more closely at the other gates. Bits of colorful cloth hung from each.

“What color was the ribbon?” I ventured, doubting the answer would be useful.

“DOES IT REALLY MATTER?” zee asked philosophically.

“I can see, just standing here, at least twelve gates with ribbons tied to them!”

“WELL, GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE!”

“Whatever. Could I also go anywhere using one of these… gates?” I briefly tried to imagine what it would be like to see the myriad cool places in the universe, possibly by using Captain’s “select all the destinations” technique.

“I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND IT! YOU MAY END UP IN A BILL GATES, WITH MORE UNWANTED UPDATES THAN YOUR BRAIN CAN HANDLE!
ALSO, AN INDECISIVE DOOR CAN TAKE YOU TO AN ODD PLACE WHERE ALL SOLIDS ARE LIQUIDS AND ALL LIQUIDS ARE SOLIDS. HOW WOULD YOU EAT YOUR SOUPS THEN?
PLUS… ONE MUST BE EVER-VIGILANT AGAINST THE DANGERS OF DUPLICATION! DR. GROMOV WOULD KNOW ALL ABOUT THAT, THE POOR CHAP. ONE SHOULD ALWAYS LOVE THEMSELVES BEFORE SPLITTING IN TWAIN.”

I stared at the passing clouds, contemplating how the sky might look in an inverted world.

“NO, I ESPECIALLY WOULDN'T ADVISE IT TO YOU RIGHT NOW… UNLESS YOU WANT TO DIE HORRIBLY AN INFINITE AMOUNT OF TIMES. THE SYSTEM ALREADY SEES YOU AS A VAGABOND, AN UNFRIENDLY BOOB OF QUESTIONABLE STATUS, A CLUSTER OF VIRUSES TIGHTLY PACKED INTO A QUIVERING FLESHY…”

Captain went on enthusiastically. It didn’t bother me much. It was one thing zee was sort of right about. I was, after all, a copy of myself, wearing unlicensed copies of my clothes. It was exactly the kind of violation the G-Directorate had always hated.



Darn alien teleporter.



Credits


Hugs and love to all our DELICIOUS PATRONS

Art Director:

Vitaly S Alexius

Studio Cat:

Nikkita

Story Editor:

Kaitlin Gossett

Ribbon joke by:

Tzryylon5


[CLICK HERE TO VISIT OUR NEW, DELICIOUS SHOP!]
[TASTY BOOKS 1-3 ARE BEING PRINTED NEXT WEEK WITH MANY EXTRA, NEW ARTS]




10th February 2017

Tagged in Snippy Captain
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20 Comments:
 
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3 months ago #9597372        
6

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what do you call a prehistoric pilot?



a

christophsaurus dex


aheh
heh

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4 months ago #9595356        
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This comic has been such an influence on me, that most of my hand gestures and body motions are influenced by Snipped.
Annoyed? Both my hands are up, one lower than the other, and my fingers are parted. Saw something unlikely? My shoulder sags from the surprise. Frustrated? Try my best not to choke the source.

Bewildered or when it's the calm before the storm? I stand the same way he usually stands when he knows something is going to happen.
It's very irritating that I have only realized this now.



3 months ago #9597382        
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Every now and then I'll just be going about my day and it will occur to me how great snippy is.



4 months ago #9594446        
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Zee Captein just standing on edge of that ledge fearless all powerful Captein. Foreshadow?



4 months ago #9594156        
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I've been following this comic for a bit over a year now and just recently made an account. I'd just like to say this the greatest series I've ever had the pleasure of viewing.

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2 months ago #9619655        
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I've noticed recently that Snippy now refers to captain as "Zeer" when, if memory serves me rightly, it used to be where Snippy would refer to Captain as "he".

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3 months ago #9598750        
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Can webpages recognize keyboard inputs as to create an easter egg with that combination? I swear pretty much anyone who reads this entry must be trying it out to see what happens...

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noddaz

54 M
3 months ago #9597085        
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It stopped! Make it go again! The universe DEPENDS on it!



3 months ago #9596710        
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Zee Captain is immortal! O3O



3 months ago #9595765        
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I need to try that command wish me luck



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