I'VE LET SNIPPY DRIVE THE TAXI-SKY-BOAT TODAY.
HE DROVE IT STRAIGHT INTO A BREEZY HURRICANE, WINNING THAT EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH PLAQUE YET AGAIN.
THIS HAS OF COURSE DISPLEASED PILOT, BUT I TOLD HIM THAT HE TOO WILL SOMEDAY OBTAIN THIS GROOVY AWARD IF HE KEEPS BELIEVING IN HIMSELF.
IN THE MEANWHILE, DOCTOR ENGIE IS AVOIDING WORK BY DAY-DREAMING OF ANNIE AND NOT EVEN THE EXCESSIVE DRUM-ROLL OF THE CLOUD-BAND AND FLASH-BANGS OF THE SKY-STAGE CAN DISTRACT HIM FROM SUCH FOCUSED THOUGHTS.
THE CITY OF LOVE AND CURVY BREAD AWAITS US!
TO INCREASE OUR RATINGS, I'VE DECLARED A MOST WEBCAM-IZED GAME OF CASH-CAB.
HERE'S THE SHOW'S TRANSCRIPT, IN CASE YOU SWITCHED THE CHANNEL AT THE WRONG TIME:
CAPTAIN-HOST:
GREETINGS, OUR BOOBISH VIEWERS!
TODAY ON CASH-CAB WE HAVE 3 SEXY RIDERS EACH OF WHICH WHICH SHALL ANSWER 3 QUESTIONS OF INTEREST! IF THEY GET THEM ALL WRONG- THEY SHALL BE EJECTED FROM THE TAXI! IF THEY GET THEM RIGHT HOWEVER, THEY SHALL BE REWARDED WITH FABULOUS PRIZES!
...SO, INTRODUCTIONS ALL AROUND!
WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES?
Rider 1: I AM PILOT!
Rider 2: ...what? Are you actually going to throw us overboard?
Rider 3: ...
HOST-CAPTAIN: INDEED! THAT IS THE POINT OF THE GAME! NOW WHAT'S YOUR NAME, RIDER NUMBER 2?
Rider 2: You god damn well know my name!
Pilot: HIS NAME IS SAUSAGE! I VOUCH FOR HIM!
Sausage: My name is not Sausage!
HOST-CAPTAIN: HELLO, MR SAUSAGE! AND WHAT CITY ARE YOU HAILING FROM?
Sausage: My name is not...
HOST-CAPTAIN: MNISNOT? MINISNOTTA IS INDEED A LOVELY TOWN. NOW, PASSENGER NUMER 3- WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
Rider 3: ...
Pilot: HER NAME'S ANGIE! SHE'S A SHY PRINCESS FROM MARIO-LAND!
HOST-CAPTAIN: THANK YOU, MR PILOT. NOW ONTO OUR GAME!
Sausage: What? Where did these flashing lights come from?
HOST-CAPTAIN: I GET TO ASK QUESTIONS! YOU ONLY NEED TO PROVIDE THE ANSWERS!
Pilot: YES SIR! I AM SO READY FOR YOUR QUESTIONS! I'VE STUDIED FOR 1203944 HOURS FOR THIS TEST! I CANNOT FAIL!
HOST-CAPTAIN: QUESTION ONE FOR IS FOR MR PILOT: WHAT NUMBER AM I THINKING ABOUT?
PILOT: NUMBER TWO!
HOST-CAPTAIN: WRONG! IT WAS THE LETTER "B".
PILOT: NUUUOOOOOOOOOOO.
Sausage: ...and how was he supposed to know that?
CAPTAIN-HOST: MR SAUSAGE! WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOR?
Sausage: Umm... Red?
HOST-CAPTAIN: CORRECT!
HOST-CAPTAIN: MS ANGIE! WHAT IS SO FRAGILE THAT WHEN YOU SAY ITS NAME YOU BREAK IT?
Princess Angie: ....
CAPTAIN-HOST: CORRECT! THE ANSWER IS SILENCE! NOW MR PILOT- WHAT IS THE WEIGHT OF THE UNIVERSE VISIBLE FROM EARTH?
Pilot: IS IT THE LETTER "B"?
HOST-CAPTAIN:
NO! THE WEIGHT OF SUCH IS 6E52 BAKED SALMONS.
MR SAUSAGE! WHERE ARE WE CURRENTLY?
Sausage: Sigh ...In the sky?
HOST-CAPTAIN:
CORECTOMUNDO! MS ANGIE- WHAT IS THE SOUND OF PAINT DRYING?
Princess Angie: ...
HOST-CAPTAIN:
WELL ANSWERED! PAINT INDEED DRIES QUIETLY!
NOW, MR PILOT- WHAT IS YOUR QUEST?
Mr Pilot: Uhhhh.
...To be a sign-painter?
HOST-CAPTAIN:
WRONG ANSWER!
YOU ARE TO HUG THE GROUND FOR US SO THAT WE MAY DECELERATE!
THANK YOU FOR PLAYING CASH CAB!
Sausage:
Did you just shove Pilot out of the tub with a rope tied to his ankle?
HOST-CAPTAIN:
INDEED. NOW, WHAT LESSON DID YOU LEARN TODAY?
Sausage:
ಠ_ಠ
HOST-CAPTAIN:
WRONG! THE LESSON OF THE DAY IS THAT REALITY TV CAN NEVER BE TRUSTED!
YOUR PRIZE FOR ANSWERING TWO OUT OF THREE QUESTIONS IS THIS EXQUISITE NUGGET OF KNOWLEDGE!
CONGRATULATIONS!
I couldn't stop laughing...I think the other people in Starbucks were annoyed with me...but they would be laughing and/or swooning too...probably swooning- if they only knew the hotness of Snippy.
Become a Patreon
23 F
YOU ARE TO HUG THE GROUND FOR US SO THAT WE MAY DECELERATE!
I get the feeling that this game of cash-cab was rigged, Captain didn't want to use his most favourite pokemon as sky-boat anchor.