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ENTRY ___180


CAPTAIN'S LOGE, ENTRY ONE EIGHT ZERO.

I'VE LET SNIPPY DRIVE THE TAXI-SKY-BOAT TODAY.
HE DROVE IT STRAIGHT INTO A BREEZY HURRICANE, WINNING THAT EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH PLAQUE YET AGAIN.

THIS HAS OF COURSE DISPLEASED PILOT, BUT I TOLD HIM THAT HE TOO WILL SOMEDAY OBTAIN THIS GROOVY AWARD IF HE KEEPS BELIEVING IN HIMSELF.

IN THE MEANWHILE, DOCTOR ENGIE IS AVOIDING WORK BY DAY-DREAMING OF ANNIE AND NOT EVEN THE EXCESSIVE DRUM-ROLL OF THE CLOUD-BAND AND FLASH-BANGS OF THE SKY-STAGE CAN DISTRACT HIM FROM SUCH FOCUSED THOUGHTS.

THE CITY OF LOVE AND CURVY BREAD AWAITS US!
TO INCREASE OUR RATINGS, I'VE DECLARED A MOST WEBCAM-IZED GAME OF CASH-CAB.
HERE'S THE SHOW'S TRANSCRIPT, IN CASE YOU SWITCHED THE CHANNEL AT THE WRONG TIME:

CAPTAIN-HOST:
GREETINGS, OUR BOOBISH VIEWERS!
TODAY ON CASH-CAB WE HAVE 3 SEXY RIDERS EACH OF WHICH WHICH SHALL ANSWER 3 QUESTIONS OF INTEREST! IF THEY GET THEM ALL WRONG- THEY SHALL BE EJECTED FROM THE TAXI! IF THEY GET THEM RIGHT HOWEVER, THEY SHALL BE REWARDED WITH FABULOUS PRIZES!

...SO, INTRODUCTIONS ALL AROUND!
WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES?

Rider 1: I AM PILOT!

Rider 2: ...what? Are you actually going to throw us overboard?

Rider 3: ...

HOST-CAPTAIN: INDEED! THAT IS THE POINT OF THE GAME! NOW WHAT'S YOUR NAME, RIDER NUMBER 2?

Rider 2: You god damn well know my name!

Pilot: HIS NAME IS SAUSAGE! I VOUCH FOR HIM!

Sausage: My name is not Sausage!

HOST-CAPTAIN: HELLO, MR SAUSAGE! AND WHAT CITY ARE YOU HAILING FROM?

Sausage: My name is not...

HOST-CAPTAIN: MNISNOT? MINISNOTTA IS INDEED A LOVELY TOWN. NOW, PASSENGER NUMER 3- WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

Rider 3: ...

Pilot: HER NAME'S ANGIE! SHE'S A SHY PRINCESS FROM MARIO-LAND!

HOST-CAPTAIN: THANK YOU, MR PILOT. NOW ONTO OUR GAME!

Sausage: What? Where did these flashing lights come from?

HOST-CAPTAIN: I GET TO ASK QUESTIONS! YOU ONLY NEED TO PROVIDE THE ANSWERS!

Pilot: YES SIR! I AM SO READY FOR YOUR QUESTIONS! I'VE STUDIED FOR 1203944 HOURS FOR THIS TEST! I CANNOT FAIL!

HOST-CAPTAIN: QUESTION ONE FOR IS FOR MR PILOT: WHAT NUMBER AM I THINKING ABOUT?

PILOT: NUMBER TWO!

HOST-CAPTAIN: WRONG! IT WAS THE LETTER "B".

PILOT: NUUUOOOOOOOOOOO.

Sausage: ...and how was he supposed to know that?

CAPTAIN-HOST: MR SAUSAGE! WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOR?

Sausage: Umm... Red?

HOST-CAPTAIN: CORRECT!

HOST-CAPTAIN: MS ANGIE! WHAT IS SO FRAGILE THAT WHEN YOU SAY ITS NAME YOU BREAK IT?

Princess Angie: ....

CAPTAIN-HOST: CORRECT! THE ANSWER IS SILENCE! NOW MR PILOT- WHAT IS THE WEIGHT OF THE UNIVERSE VISIBLE FROM EARTH?

Pilot: IS IT THE LETTER "B"?

HOST-CAPTAIN:
NO! THE WEIGHT OF SUCH IS 6E52 BAKED SALMONS.
MR SAUSAGE! WHERE ARE WE CURRENTLY?

Sausage: Sigh ...In the sky?

HOST-CAPTAIN:
CORECTOMUNDO! MS ANGIE- WHAT IS THE SOUND OF PAINT DRYING?

Princess Angie: ...

HOST-CAPTAIN:
WELL ANSWERED! PAINT INDEED DRIES QUIETLY!
NOW, MR PILOT- WHAT IS YOUR QUEST?

Mr Pilot: Uhhhh.
...To be a sign-painter?

HOST-CAPTAIN:
WRONG ANSWER!
YOU ARE TO HUG THE GROUND FOR US SO THAT WE MAY DECELERATE!
THANK YOU FOR PLAYING CASH CAB!

Sausage:
Did you just shove Pilot out of the tub with a rope tied to his ankle?

HOST-CAPTAIN:
INDEED. NOW, WHAT LESSON DID YOU LEARN TODAY?

Sausage:
ಠ_ಠ

HOST-CAPTAIN:
WRONG! THE LESSON OF THE DAY IS THAT REALITY TV CAN NEVER BE TRUSTED!
YOUR PRIZE FOR ANSWERING TWO OUT OF THREE QUESTIONS IS THIS EXQUISITE NUGGET OF KNOWLEDGE!
CONGRATULATIONS!


Credits


Hugs and love to all our DELICIOUS PATRONS

Art Director:

Vitaly S Alexius

Illustrator:

Andrey Fetisov

3D rendering by:

Artem Bagmut

Journal suggestion by:

Tina Ze Intern

Русский Перевод:

Анна Щетвина



Q and A from the RA team:




1st April 2014

Tagged in Engie Captain Snippy Pilot
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64 Comments:
 
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Aryllia

23 F
11 months ago #9549234        
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YOU ARE TO HUG THE GROUND FOR US SO THAT WE MAY DECELERATE!

I get the feeling that this game of cash-cab was rigged, Captain didn't want to use his most favourite pokemon as sky-boat anchor.



1 year ago #9516350        
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I couldn't stop laughing...I think the other people in Starbucks were annoyed with me...but they would be laughing and/or swooning too...probably swooning- if they only knew the hotness of Snippy.



1 year ago #9489223        
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Engie's questions were too easy. I should have won.



1 year ago #9480220        
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You know, the equivalent of 6E52 baked salmons very well might be the weight of the observable universe. Give or take 20 orders of magnitude or so.



Yubbi

19 F
3 years ago #9343859        
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"The city of love and curry bread"?
Paris?



3 years ago #9298504        
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Engie wins by doing absolutely nothing!



3 years ago #9265793        
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Poor Pilot. After he studied for so long trying to get it right, too.



3 years ago #9265343        
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So Snippy's favorite color is red?
that explains the underwear :D



Flick

17 M
3 years ago #9237828        
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"Sausage: ಠ_ಠ"



3 years ago #9224314        
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SAUSAGE IS YOUR FRIEND



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