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NOW CAPTAIN CAN TRAVEL IN UR EARS!
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ENTRY ___18



FERN GULLY, THE LAST TREE.

For decades now, we have fought with the Gardeners for the rights to this tree. The Directorate Gardeners claimed copyright to all chlorophyll, oxygen-producing fauna.
We've decidedly explained to them that our tree doesn't dump any free oxygen into the environment and it contains no chlorophyll, yet they still tried to set our tree on fire on numerous occasions.
We, fairies, have lost many of our numbers to the constant bickering with the Gardeners.
From a previous generation of fairies we still remember tales of old: stories about forests and parks that our GodMother gave onto us to maintain and to frolic in.
The GodMother has created us because someone asked her "_Are fairies real?_" and we have nearly failed her, only this tree remains alive and even at that, barely active.
We are doomed to pass into the stuff of legends.

: : :

Today, two Consumers walked right past our tree.
We noted that one of them had the degree of a Wizard and the other that of a Guide.
They were discussing things of interest, which went as follows:

"HOW ABOUT UNICORNS?"

"Nope."

"WHAT ABOOT GRIFFINS?"

"Nay!"

"DRAGOOOONS?"

"No."

"LIBRARIANS?"

"Umm... okay those used to be real, I think. However, they're all extinct now."

"MERMAIDS?!"

"No! All of those things are from fictional stories, G-damn it!"
The Guide angrily rushed forward, possibly trying to get away from the argument, coming closer to our Tree.

"Help us, oh mighty Guide of the Zone! You are our only hope!" one of us cried, flying towards him. He did not hear her and just stepped forward, crushing her underfoot with a sickening crunch.
The rest of us retreated back to our tree in panic.

"FLYING SAUCER!" The wizard angrily boomed and stared upwards.
"Oh please, aliens don't..." the Guide started to mumble.

The Wizard's Word was a mighty one. It hooked into depths of distant space and from beyond the horizon brought forth the Flying Saucer. It sliced through the air in an instant, with a thunderous crack of temporal translocation, irradiated the ozone and scorched buildings with jets of fire.
The unsuspecting Guide evaporated from the spot he was on. We guesstimated that the Flying Saucer must have scooped up the Guide for his insolence.

: : :

The Wizard calmly walked forth and reached our tree.
"GREETINGS, MY FAIRY FRIENDS!" The Wizard waved at us.

We fluttered and waved back.

"HOW GOES THE POLLINATION?" The wizard inquired.

We told the Wizard that our tree is dying from contamination and that the mean Gardeners aren't making our lives any easier with constant lawsuits.

"HMMMM" Said the wizard. "TIZ A PITY SNIPPY HAS BEEN SUMMONED UPWARDS AND CANNOT WITNESS A REAL FAIRY COMMUNITY. OH WELLS, HIS LOSS. NOW, AS TO YOUR TROUBLES: I CANNOT SAVE YOUR OLD TREE, LITTLE ONES."

We wept at such grave declaration.

"HUSH NOW." accosted the Wizard. "I WILL TAKE A SINGLE ACORN FROM YOUR TREE WITH ME, AND PLANT IT AT THE RIGHT PLACE AND THE RIGHT TIME ...AND FROM IT, A NEW FOREST OF DEAN SHALL GROW AND PROVIDE SPLENDOR TO THE TOURISTY MASSES!"

We rejoiced muchly at such proposition and asked what is to become of us.

"YOU CAN LIVE IN MY POCKET TILL SUCH TIME!" The wizard assured, opening a coat pocket.

...and thus we departed from our old tree, with high hopes, placing our trust in the kindness of this traveler, praying that the Wizard would not simply turn us over to the Guide who would surely make us into a soup.












Credits



Street cred to: Sol4rplexus
For help with journal development.

26th February 2010
 


69 Comments:
 
17 days ago #9255323        

Ze captainnnn!! I LOVE YOU MORE EVERY DAY.



2 months ago #9220993        

HOLLY CRAP I never noticed the random Tree in last panel!! :O :O



3 months ago #9214209        

*FAIRIES***ERROR***___initialise backup and diagnostics*



nscm

27 F
3 months ago #9200261        

I knew fairies were real!! Oh gods, Snippy how could you!? You stepped on a poor fairy!



3 months ago #9200016        

Something tells me Captain isn't as insane as we presume XD



Zaci

24 M
3 months ago #9199859        

FAIRY SOUP phahahaha xD
Sounds delicious.



7 months ago #9112413        

LOOK OUT CAPTAIN!



Wheattle

20 M
9 months ago #9077381        

Snippy must've had a wonderful childhood.



Takeshi

24 M
1 year ago #8854502        

Aliens ain't probin shit today lol



2 years ago #8781129        

Don't worry everybody, the aliens are just taking Zee Captain to a magical world called Narnia where he can hallucinate all he wants.



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