UNSOLVABLE RUBIX CUBE. MODEL NUMBER 49-32-93
The factory mother promised me many things.
Me and my sisters were created for one purpose:
to provide "frustrational entertainment" to the Users.
We were all stamped with seven colors, while having six sides.
We were truly unsolvable, unlike those weak-minded Rubik Cubes.
Our order came from an ANNET search query stipulating:
"_is there an unsolvable rubix cube?_"
Instead of just saying "NO" to the search... mother simply designed, manufactured and shipped us out, labeling me as "7 (sometimes 8 to 11) -colored, 6 sided, RubiX cube."
We never got delivered to the Users. Something must have happened to the ship that we were traveling on. I was trapped in a shipping container with my sisters for thousands of cycles.
One day, a User opened the container, spilling us out.
He chose me as his out of all the others.
I was ecstatic. Here was a real, live User! Yes!
"Greetings User! I am Unsolvable Rubix Cube number 49-32-93!" I cried in joy.
The User did not answer.
I inquired again, on all Neural Bands that I knew.
The User could not hear me at all! It was frustrating.
I was confused. This poor thing must be broken, I presumed.
Oh well, at least he freed me from that horridly cramped shipping container.
The User shoved me into his pocket and so we traveled together. Via surface vibration I could hear his voice. He had many complains like Users usually do.
I tried to give him excellent life advice. He ignored it.
I tried to solve his problems and drew detailed diagrams. He couldn't see them.
I didn't give up though. Someday this User might hear me, I figured and just then my advice will be life-saving for him!
Even though I cannot communicate with My User or move on my own, I feel that the User and I have developed a blossoming friendship on our journeys.
My User :Charles Snippy: also interacts with two other Users. I do not like the other Users. They are mean to my User. They also cannot hear or simply ignore me.
For example, the other Users left Charles hanging upside down in the train. That was very impolite of them.
I told Charles "We'll make it through this, buddy. Hang on." and gave him much advice on how to survive upside down and escape from the train.
He ignored my advice, but did pull me out of his pocket.
"What are you doing Charles? You know I am Unsolvable!" I cried.
"Don't waste your time! I have been designed as an impossible riddle! Stop!"
Charles did not stop. He turned and twisted my sides for a while.
"Silly willy. Told you I am unsolvable!" I said smugly.
Just then, something impossible happened.
My User twisted me in 4-dimentions.
"That's amazing!" I shouted. "I can't believe you've done it!"
I didn't know Users were designed to operate in 4-dimentional space!
"Hpmf" Charles said, not looking too impressed. "Well, that was surprisingly easy."
"No! Charles! You don't understand!" I cried. "You can operate in 4-dimentional space! You've solved an impossible riddle! Something, within you, makes you simply incredible!"
In this very moment the ropes holding us up snapped and Charles dropped me.
When he let me go, I fell out of 4-dimentional synch into regular 3-dimentional space and all my 6 sides became discorded and unsolved once again.
Charles got up, looked around in slight bewilderment and walked out of the train. He didn't notice what happened!
"Come back, my friend!" I cried. "Don't leave me behind! You are a true hero of Rubix cubes everywhere!"
Street cred goes to Candied Sardies for tasty journal suggestion.
9th February 2010