As I was about ready to meet a very tragic end with potential splattering and bone breaking consequences, the billboard crashed into another balcony and suddenly turned flat, gliding in the air. There was no more crashing noise, only the hiss of the wind.
I figured the board must have caught an updraft of air, turning it into a massive kite. I saw the sky sailing above me for a moment, before the billboard smashed into the ground, digging into the ice, severing the ropes and flinging me out into a snow-bank.
Making a snow-angel as I tried to get up, but failing due to dizziness, I saw Captain's figure standing over me.
"NINE POINTS!"
it spoke.
"What's wrong with you!?" I shouted "Why would you...?"
"YOU LOST ONE POINT FOR NOT SMILING ON YOUR 6TH FLIP" Captain answered: "GRUMPY ATHLETES GET SECOND PLACE, YOU KNOW!"
I didn't know whether to strangle Captain or to laugh. I chose the latter, because... why not. In a radioactive world where you have nothing to lose or to gain, where your home usually has no roof above it, being a human kite is sort of... maybe just a tiny bit... amusing?
Moral of the day is that I definitely learned NOT to poke fun at Captain's conversations with inanimate objects.
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I already talk to inanimate objects on a daily basis...