To anyone who finds this tooth memory card and the messages left within...
My name is Charles Snippy and I am probably the last sane human being left on Earth.
I know not whether you will understand this message. I know not whether you'll even be able to decode the ones and zeros on this data card. I know not whether my voice will ever reach anyone.
I know not whether the microscopic drives will last long enough and whether the plastic and metal parts will not disintegrate into dust as centuries pass or whether the titanium shell encasing them will remain in place or be consumed by the ever-changing landscape, lost forever.
And yet I still have hope that someone will find the story of my life, probably by now long past and learns something of use from it or perhaps be slightly enthralled by the tale of my doom.
If you are still human, then this will be a story about the collapse of the civilization of your forefathers through greed and arrogance. If you are some other species entirely, then it is a story about how the human race was extinguished through our disregard for the balance of the planetary eco-sphere that gave us life through the long line of evolution.
My entire life's story is sealed within the confines of this card, in the form of daily journal entries starting from the day the Directorate dental bot cracked open my tooth, shoved the card in, and, through my tortured screams, promised
[-ONLY MILDLY PAINFUL RECOVERY-]
I've been narrating my life to myself as an exercise recommended long ago by an "online psychiatrist" as a way to "maintain sanity" in "highly stressful situations". Why does sanity need to be maintained, you might inquire?
Well... My sanity is a force that is in balance with an equal and opposite reaction: the absolute insanity of my only friend. That friend is of course Zee Captain.